What I Want You To Remember About Your Wedding
September 3, 2015 , Wedding Tips
A few weeks ago a bride of mine came to me, upset and overwhelmed about her upcoming wedding. When I’d last spoken with her, she was beaming with excitement and gushing over every little detail and plan for the day. What changed? As we talked over Facetime, I could see the stress on her face and the look of disappointment in telling me her frustrations. It became obvious to me that this new perspective was because someone she looked up to in the industry made her feel that what she had planned for her wedding wasn’t good enough. Whether accidental or intentional, it had a huge impact on my bride, and I’ve spent the last two weeks getting really, really angry about it. Has the wedding industry gotten so wrapped up in pretty details that we’ve forgotten about the bigger picture? Here’s an important wedding reminder.
I know a lot of women who get engaged and immediately start planning their wedding day. I know a lot of single women who have Pinterest boards of what they want their wedding to look like (guilty!). Wedding planning can be fun – I’m not questioning that. What I am trying to emphasize is that weddings exist for one purpose. To celebrate the love two people have for each other. The rest is nice, but it’s all just part of the supporting cast.
The thousand decisions you get to make about your wedding can be a lot of things for a lot of different people – fun, exciting, boring, overwhelming, stressful. No matter what your wedding planning process looks like, try to keep in mind what really matters, because it’s pretty great. You get to marry the person you fell in love with. You’re lucky enough to have found each other, and now you two get to start your life together in front of the people you care about the most. That’s fucking incredible!
Details matter, yes, but they’re not the absolute most important thing. What you wear should make you feel confident and beautiful – the designer is lucky to have you wearing their work. Where you get married should be special to you somehow, whether it be in your backyard or at a waterfall in the mountains or in downtown Manhattan. If it’s cool enough for you to want to be at that exact spot while you recite your vows, then it’s the perfect place, end of story. Your flowers, if you choose to have them, should speak to you and you alone. If your bouquet isn’t filled to the brim with peonies, guess what? It’s gonna be okay. Everybody’s personality, taste, and budget are different. Variety is the spice of life and if everyone was the same, what a sad industry this would be.
The day after your wedding, everything will be different. You’ll go home or away on your honeymoon, and your loved ones will return to their lives. Your dress will be tucked safely in a closet somewhere, probably never to be worn again. Your cake will be eaten and even the most exotic flowers wilt. You’ll sport a new ring on your left hand, because you’re now married to your favorite person in the world. Your wedding day is over, and now you’re left with the most important part: your marriage.
That’s where I come in. It’s my job to help you re-live your celebration, to remind you how you felt as the day was unfolding, and to capture the things happening around you that you may have missed while you were in the moment. My goal isn’t to get pretty pictures of your centerpieces and invitations so I can submit them to publications. Of course, photos of your details are important, but it’s not just because they’re pretty – it’s because they help tell your story. My main goal when photographing your wedding is to make you FEEL. I want you to have tangible memories of the excitement, the anxiousness, the anticipation, the joy, the calm, and the love. I want you to look back at your photos and think, “my wedding day was perfect, because it was mine.”